Round three - ding ding!

Allright sports fans - are you ready for Round 3? I am, I guess. I went for a run yesterday to help clear my mind, and, due to my not really running after week 22 of pregnancy (ummm, yeah, that would be the CC Sneak in late April) and a tad of fatigue which I'll go ahead and blame on chemo, I was running REALLY slow and having a hard time hanging on to my goal of running 3 miles. Not consecutively, people, don't get ahead of yourselves. That's still a ways away. But regardless, I wanted to run 3 just to prove to myself that I could do it. To keep in mind, pre-baby, pre-chemo my "short, easy" runs were 4-6 miles, so 3 "should be" cake. Well it wasn't yesterday, and when I wanted to give up, to walk, I just kept telling myself, just a few more steps, just pick up the legs and keep moving forward, just keep doing it, because if you make it all 3 miles, girl, you're gonna feel like a million bucks. And you know what? It was hard, it sucked, I was exhausted and wanted so bad to give up, but I just knew that if I did, I would feel way less than a million bucks - I would feel like a dollar. And I just couldn't disappoint myself like that. So I powered through, and felt like a total rock star at the end. My piddly three miles, and I had a grin on my face that you couldn't wipe off all day. I've been dreading doing this round of chemo, and 3 more after it, for most of this week. But I'm trying to think of it like my run - just keep putting one foot in front of each other, just don't give up, just keep on keeping on, and eventually I'll make it to the finish line and it will all be worth it. But I know that every step will be hard, just like that damn run. It will hurt, it won't be pretty, it will be slow going sometimes and easier others, but in a few months, I get to receive the title of "chemo survivor" and I'm gonna be damn proud of it, thank you very much. Hats off to all the folks out there doing chemo - it's hard, it's not fun, but you make it through because you have to and because your spirit is strong.

Tomorrow will mark #3 of 6, a huge milestone to be 1/2 way through. (Well OK halfway through chemo, with 7 fun months of Herceptin every three weeks for a year, but I keep being told it will be "nothing" so I'm counting on that and trying hard not to think about that right now!) It will feel SO good to be halfway through, but it's still a long, tough ride ahead. One foot in front of another, one foot in front of another.... Repeat until January...

Since I've always been all about the music, I've adopted a "theme song" of sorts that I play to psyche myself up for chemo and other cancer-related toughness - an awesome, upbeat song by country singers Rodney Atkins. Here are a few excerpts...

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been dragging for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

I play it constantly to remind me to keep on pounding through, if I can just pick up my pace a bit I might sneak past the devil! Here's to hoping...

Love you all! See ya on the other side of hell, I mean chemo...

Amy